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3 Simple Steps to Writing the Perfect Valentine’s Day Card

Valentine's Day Writing Tips

Writing Heart on Wall

You want to impress!

Write something they will remember.  That will build the anticipation for what’s to come.  Express your heartfelt feelings for your relationship.

So many Valentine’s Day cards to choose from.  How do you pick the right one?

Answer:  The pre-printed words are not as important as what you write in the card.

Hundreds of thousands of people will read the words printed in the card.  Only one person will read what you write.

It’s what makes the card special.  From you.

Summing up the expanse of your feelings for someone can be overwhelming.

But it doesn’t need be.

You can do it easily by following three simple writing guidelines based on the components of love.

The 3 Components of Love

Love is complicated.

So it helps to try and simplify it.  To make some sense out of it.

Cornell psychologist Robert Sternberg has identified three components of love:

  1. Intimacy = the emotional connection.
  2. Passion = the motivational component.
  3. Commitment = the hope for lasting love.

To write the perfect Valentine’s Day card, you must include all three components.

Let’s take a look at each one more closely.  And explore some prompts to write a great Valentine’s Day card.

1. Writing for Intimacy

Closeness.  Connectedness.  Trust.

Intimacy is the emotional aspect of your relationship.

To add intimacy in your writing, reveal your feelings about the other person.  How you feel about the relationship.

This can work for romantic love and for friendship alike.

Here’s some prompts to get you started writing for intimacy:

  • Share how the other person makes you happy.
  • Express why you love them.  Be specific.
  • Mention something about them that you value and why.
  • Describe why you respect them.
  • Explain how your friendship makes you feel.

Tap into your feelings and don’t be afraid to express them.

Remember that intimacy is not just about physical closeness.

Neither is passion.

2. Writing with Passion

Excitement.  Motivation.  And yes, lust.

Passion is what drives the relationship.  Remove passion and the relationship stalls.

Emotional intimacy is important, but it must also be fueled by passion to reach its fullest effectiveness.

Passion is obvious in romantic relationships.

Passion in friendships comes from the drive for a common goal.  Shared experiences that enliven, thrill and excite it bring experiential passion to the friendship.

Here’s how to add passion to your writing:

  • Tell them why you are attracted to them.  Be specific.
  • Share how your last adventure together excited you.
  • Explain how you are a better person because they are around.
  • Describe something about the other person that only you know.  And draws you to them.
  • You can always go for the obvious and let them know why you are physically attracted to them.

To complete your love note, you only need to add in a statement of commitment.

3. Writing with Commitment

Yep, you guessed it.

You’ve got to define your level of commitment to reap the benefits of the perfect love note.

Longevity.  Perseverance.  You’re in it for the long haul.

It doesn’t take much.  Give them a glimpse of your future together.

Here’s some pointers for expressing your commitment:

  • Mention a future event that you are excited to attend together.
  • Write about how your future relationship will be even better.
  • Explain how you will never leave them.
  • Married or engaged?  Write a picture of your great life together 5 or 10 years in the future.
  • Dating?  Let them know you are invested in them and no one else.

For friends, the pressure is not so overwhelming.  It’s not hard to imagine yourself as friends forever.

But your friends could still benefit from knowing that they are loved, cared for, and that you will be around when they need you.

Your Turn

Grab your Valentine’s Day card and a pen.

Start thinking loving thoughts.

Remember to:

  1. Let them hear your emotion in your writing.
  2. Make sure you write with excitement and attraction.
  3. Tell them how devoted you are to the relationship.

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!


Flickr creative commons image courtesy of Susana Fernandez.

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